RIP Mama and Baby Porcupine

Jennifer already mentioned that if we had a TV show, Grandma and Grandpa would have to be in it. If you've ever watched Kathy Griffin's mom on My Life on the D List, you already know what we mean. Old people say and do things that are, well, entertaining and interesting, yet disturbing too. Yesterday was one of those times. I called Grandma just to talk, and she told me this story.

"Grandpa was out with the flashlight yesterday looking under the deck. He thought he saw a baby kitten," says Grandma.

Maggie Griffin, not unlike our
own family grandparents

"Really, and what was it?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer, preparing myself for any sort of woodland creature (there was a beaver in the yard just the other day, but don't worry, Grandpa chased it back to the river on his quad. WTF??)


"A baby porcupine!"

"OMG, where is it now?"

"Well, Grandpa hit it on the head."


This is not the actual baby killed in the making of this story.
"WHAT??!! Why?"

"Well, you can't have porcupines in the yard, and under the deck is where Abby goes pee!"

"Okay..." I said, not at all convinced that this is a good enough reason to kill a porcupine baby. "Where is the mother?"

"Oh, don't worry, we got rid of it too." Grandma stated.

I didn't ask what "got rid of" is a euphemism for, and I doubt I want to know. Let's just say Grandpa has plenty of guns and ammo on the farm.

So, needless to say, I am writing this post in honor of all animals and creatures, especially those who have met their untimely demise at the Nelson farm. Rest in peace baby porcupine, rest in peace.