Renovations Suck.

I live with my Mom and brother. We have one bathroom. Three weeks ago, we tore the old tub surround out. We ran into disaster below the tub surround and have actually taken the circular saw to the walls. This house is cursed by the Voo Doo Priestess of Insomnia. It's because in 1977 she left her sleeping pills behind the plumbing. I found them, but that hasn't stopped the ever persistent problems.

So, for three weeks, I've been bumming showers from friends and family (Thanks Dad, Connie and, of course, Megan and her heated bathroom floors). I would like to take this opportunity to extend my sincerest appreciation.

But I'm Jennifer. So naturally I've created a devious plan to manipulate this project into completion. However, I will share some advice first. NEVER pay your brother and his buddy BEFORE the job is done, and you can avoid this whole mess.

Back to my plan... I am hereby no longer bathing or participating in any form of hygiene. It will take 24 hours for my skin cells to rebalance to their normal pH level. This is also when my stink will start. My hair will get greasy, the b.o. will be overwhelming and my teeth will grow fur. After day 3, when I will be judged for going out in public, I will follow Corey or Lane around. To work, to restaurants, to liquor stores. I will use all my resources to stalk them. And my unbelievably disgusting self will force them into submission where they will put up the last 5 tiles, apply the grout and sealant.

Pretty awesome right...