Goodbye is never easy...

As I embark on a new part of my life (finishing my degree) and move out on my own, I am in kind of weird place. I feel like deja vu. I'm certain I'm living the life I had five years ago but with better hair, clothes and car. I lived with Ange while I went to school. Did that in 2005-2006 and 2010-2011. When I finished school in 2006, I went to Nipawin. And now in 2011, I'm headed back to Nipawin. I've spent 30,000 and used 3 years of life, only to get back to where I started... So obviously, I need to make some changes. January 1st, I gave up McDonald's for the year, and so far it's good... except the ice cream, which doesn't count because it's ice cream. There is special New Year's Resolution policy that exempt ice cream. Now I'm giving up clothes. I lost a GIANT rubbermaid bin of clothes once for two years and never noticed. Today I found more clothes under my bed that I didn't remember I had. At my new apartment, I have a walk in closet. It's almost filled with 1/3 of my clothes. Did I mention I have clothes that are a year old and still have tags too?? So, for the month of May, I am giving up clothes shopping. I will not buy any clothes. Not even if they are 85% off and reduced to 99 cents. While I go through the grieving process for McDonald's, new clothes and a lifestyle of school which I have grown to love, I thought I should really challenge myself and give up soda. YES, you read that right. No pop ALL SUMMER!!!!!! Which reminds me, I should go google aspartame withdrawal symptoms... This won't be pretty. But I'm pretty sure it will make for good blogging once the shakes set it!!

My New Life Goal: Getting Stuff for Free

Now that I have had a son, I have gone into full-blown mommy mode which includes cutting coupons and getting good deals. Okay, that has nothing to do with Levi, because I always loved getting good deals and I have always cut coupons, but a new TV show has inspired this to a new level of consciousness. That show is Extreme Couponing. People on this show buy $800 worth of groceries and pay $4.53. Seriously. The other day Jen and I went to Walmart and I had an extreme coupon moment. I bought three cleaning products for $2 each ... if I bought three, I had a $5 off coupon, so I paid $1 for all three products. The adrenaline rush I felt was similar to when I saw the pregnancy test turn positive. I went home with my 33 cent dishsoap, happy as can be. Until I went to get the dishsoap out of the cupboard. It wasn't there. It wasn't under the sink; it wasn't in the downstairs pantry; it wasn't in either hall closet. I searched high and low!! No where to be found! I thought maybe it fell out of the shopping cart, or Grant put it somewhere that I would never look. Three weeks went by. I thought maybe I would never find my almost-free dishsoap. I had since went and bought a giant bottle of Palmolive that could NOT get lost. Until Jen started packing to move out. Jen: (Hilarious laughter) Ange! You are going to love this! Ange: Be quiet or you'll wake up Levi. Jen: No, seriously, you are going to love what I found! (Opens bag that she found in the trunk of her car.) Ange: IT'S MY DISHSOAP! Not unlike an archeological dig, Jen sometimes hoards stuff in her car and cleans it out once a year, finding all kinds of buried treasure in the meantime. Including my leftover groceries! So, now I have more dishsoap than I'll use in probably 3 months. But more importantly, I am not only a mom, but an extreme couponer in training!

Welcome Back Ankles!

You might be wondering why there was a two month hiatus from blogging. I don't know what Jen's excuse was, but I was busy having a baby. That's right. A baby. Is that a good excuse or what? Not only have I welcomed our son into our home, I have also welcomed back my ankles. Anyone who's been pregnant and gained more than 5 pounds knows that your ankles disappear around month 7, never to be seen again for at least 8 to 12 weeks. I still haven't welcomed back my wedding rings though. Not sure if those joints will return to normal or not. Anyway, with a baby, we'll definitely have even more adventures to write about! Stay tuned!

Birthdays

Well, I (Jennifer) turned 26 today. This past year, I knew it was coming after a thoughtful friend pointed it out. So, naturally, since 26 another year closesr to ancient, I have been feeling like I'm getting old. I look at guys my age, and think "crap, are they ever old"... I would like to think I could still lie and pass for 22. I'm thinking about spending my birthday money on a steam mop. That's certainly has to be a sign of aging. A steam mop is not fashionable, useless shoes that a younger person would choose. Today, the best part of my day, aside from hanging out with Levi, which I do everyday, was at 11:30. Oh, 11:30 AM, not PM like it would have been a few years ago. I went for lunch with some awesome ladies... oh, yeah, that should be another sign of aging too. My friends are ladies, not b*tches or frienemies! And, finally, the last reason I know I'm now getting old is because my parents are someone's Grandpa and Grandma. But I'll let Ange tell you about that!! Anyway, I'm gonna keep repeating a few words of Golden Girls wisdom: The older you get, the better you get... unless you're a banana!!

Hoarding Saves Lives!!

Ok, so I'm known to be a slight hoarder. But just of stuff I might actually truly need. So, I keep receipts in my car. You never know when you'll run out of napkins and tissues, barf and need one to clean your mouth or when you'll have a nose bleed.

Ok, so receipts are handy in a pinch. I keep them organized in a pile on the floor of the passenger side of my car. Oldest on the bottom, to newest on the top. Judge me all you want, but these receipts came in really handy on Thursday.

With all the melting going on, my windsheild wipers were constantly running and the wiper fluid was a godsend. On my way home from Saskatoon, I couldn't figure out why my headlights were so dim. I could barely see anything. Of course, I go into a panic thinking this is going to be a repair and bunch of money. So I called my wonderful Dad to ask him what he thought was wrong. He said Clean your headlights. You know how your windsheild was dirty, your lights are too. Hallelujah!!

So I took a handful of receipts, pulled over and used them dry to wipe off the lights. But knowing if I just had something wet, it would be so much more effective, I took a clean receipt, stuck it to my tongue and spitwashed my headlights.

And that's how hoarding saved my life.

Say What??

So last weekend I made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. Feeling energetic and on a sugar high, I debated making more cookies. Our house really enjoys the chocolat oatmeal no bake type cookies. They go by all different types of names. We call them Haystacks.

One recipe is called Oat Delights. I said to Angela "what a stupid name, sound like something you'd feed a horse". Then I caught myself. "Haystacks, probably not any better since horses actually eat hay."

I'm Turning Into Jen

Entering your 8th month of pregnancy for the first time requires getting to know your body as you have never known it before. You ache in places that have never ached, you can't see places you've always been able to see, you feel your belly sitting on your lap where it's never sat before, and if that's not enough, your feet, hands and ankles swell up like water balloons.

And I'm leaving out the really bad stuff.

With my swollen hands, I've also been dealing with numbness and tingling in my right arm. Really "handy" for a right-hander like me. I drop things, trip on things, back into cars in parking lots (yes, really, grrrr....) and just generally have to deal with my clumsy, awkward self.

In other words, I'm turning into Jen. To which she laughed hysterically when I told her. She knows she is clumsy. She's had lots of years to adjust. I have only had a few weeks! I hope she will give me a few pointers for survival, or at least a helmet.

Holy Crap, I've said it already!!

"That could be a blog"

I didn't know Ange wrote a blog, about all the blogs in "should be wrote -land". But tonight as we were conversing, it came up, like it always does.

I am making a special top secret dessert tomorrow because as I explained to Angela: I need to express my creativity in a culinary fashion. That's 6 years of post secondary education for you, I don't just spit it out and say, I'm makin' some good food for us.

But moments later, when Rihanna came on Saturday Night Live, the baby kicked low, and I asked "Did the baby just kick your hoo-ha?", and then said "OMG, Rihanna just felt her ta-ta's on tv".

Maybe the grown up words for anatomy will come in my next semester... til then, I'm diagnosing myself with bi-polar vocabulary. Sometimes proper and sometimes slang, and you never what is going to come out when!!

**Also, Ange is a pop waster, and I would have drank her flat half full Root Beer, and I will never forget this, just like I have never forgot the time you spilt my nachos at the theatre.

"That Could Be A Blog"

Happy 2011 faithful blog readers.

2011 is going to be a big year in our family, as we are going to add a baby - making me a first-time mommy, and Jen an auntie!

With that, I have decided to keep my resolution simple. I will have enough on my plate figuring this parenthood thing out.

This year's resolution is to actually write the blogs when Jen and I say "that could be a blog." Since we are currently living in the same household, that happens alot.

For example, last night, when Jen said "you expect this sh*t from guys, but not your friends..." ...that could be a blog.

Today when I dumped a half can of flat pop down the sink, much to Jen's dismay, and then told her "I'm so rich I can waste pop..." ...that could be a blog.

I know there are lots more. And I resolve this year to write them!

Strengths Perspective...

So, that exam I was talking about yesterday, was actually extremely difficult. Not just get a wrong answer, get zero, it was the get a wrong answer, LOSE a mark kind of exam. I guess I deserve that for underestimating the professor. But in the wonderful world of social work we are taught to turn any (I really do mean ANY) skill into a strength. Here is my strength:

I can stalk like no other. Yes, stalk. I have finetuned my ability to find out anything or find anyone. And, I can even do this in my pajama's without leaving the house. Like seriously, some people do not value their privacy like they should.

Thanks to my extraordinary facebook skills, boys that I have a crush on will be found in less than an hour. Even if I only have a first name, a hobbying or a town. Yes, I am that good. Osama bin Laden should be counting his lucky starts that I'm not interested, otherwise I'd have him found and tagged so quick his head would spin... if its not doing that already, exorcist style.

This skill does have drawbacks. I regularly see people and think I know them. I don't. And it's socially inappropriate to start conversations with them... But but your so and so's sister. "I don't actually know them" and "Don't freak these people out, Jennifer!!" plays on repeat in my head.

Another drawback: sometimes knowing too much is not always best. I have previous wrote about how I believe ignorance may possibly be bliss. Sometimes you find cheaters, sometimes you find liars, and I guess, in the long run it's better to know now.

Today, I used my skill after reading a news article about a woman from a town I had lived in, who was killed. I was curious after reading the article, and had a bad feeling, I knew and liked this person since she was always very friendly to me, even though I couldn't remember her name. Well, after creeping at least 30 people from Nipawin, that I didn't know, to no help whatsoever. I remembered the women and her husband's name. I found some of his relatives who didn't have privacy settings, and sure enough my hunch was right.

It's so sad to lose someone so nice, and so young. But as the strengths perspective dictates, we are alive. So I want to take this chance to lecture everyone on being safe this winter and to live every day like it might be your last.

Which for me might mean finding a non stalking, slightly more productive hobbie...

Don't Wake A Sleeping Baby

There are some truisms in life: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure; the early bird gets the worm; close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Another one I've heard alot since becoming pregnant is "Don't wake a sleeping baby". As if! If the baby is sleeping, he's obviously not hungry or fussy or uncomfortable. I guess some people think you have to wake the baby up to keep to a schedule for feeding or some nonsense like that. (*Note: I have no practical parenting experience yet. I might learn that you should wake a sleeping baby. Keep your judgements to yourself!)

Anyway, the other morning I woke up and went to WalMart before the store got busy with Christmas shoppers. Since I pretty much just went in my sweats and ball cap (sorry other shoppers and clerks), I threw on Jen's knit boots. Without asking.

Of course, by the time I got home, she was up. I told her I wore her boots. She said "Without asking?". I said, "Would you prefer I wake you up to ask your permission, when I know you'll say yes?". "No, it's better that I sleep."

Exactly. You don't wake a sleeping baby and you don't wake a sleeping sister either! At least not my sister!

Happy Second Birthday, Blog!

Two years ago, I decided Jen and I needed a public forum for our antics and stories and general sisterly-type things that we think are funny.

Well, exactly two years ago, in 2008, this blog was born. Many, many blog posts have come and gone since then. It makes a person realize how quickly two years can go by.

Thanks for reading and letting us share our thoughts with you. We still don't have a TV show, so I can't see the blog going away anytime soon. Maybe this year will be the year we get the show ... you can always hope.

Student Life

So, as most of you know, I'm a 4th year student in the Faculty of Social Work at the U of R.

I had a very intense semester this fall. Group projects, midterms, advocacy plans, ethical dilemma case studies, 3 major presentations, journal papers, communitiy planning and organizing papers. The last 3 weeks of classes, I had 15 different assignments due. Needless to say, it seemed never ending. But that was my consequence since I chose to take my last 5 required classes simultaneously.

So, I have my first (and last) final tomorrow. I've been a little worried since the class, Research, hasn't been my top priority, or top grade. I started organizing my study strategy last night and putting all the professors tips together.

We have 3 hours to write the exam, so I expected at least 100 multiple choice and true false, with a few essay or short answer questions. Boy, was I wrong. The exam is open book, I should have known since open book exams are almost always harder.

Today, I see the prof had responded to a comment about the exam. It's 20 questions. And I thought that was a joke. Nope, really is 20 questions, 3 hours, and its open book. Makes me think this degree might be a joke.

Guess I will be happy, that its not harder, or more stressful and that tomorrow I will be done another semester!!

Too good to be true

Everyday when I wake up, the dishes are magically put away. Always back in the cupboard.

For months, I never really said anything to anyone not wanting to attract attention to a chore I may then have to complete. For the longest time, I secretly thought that maybe Ange and her husband had a dishes fairy. I mean, they must have lots of money, they have 3 types of chocolate chips in the cupboard and buy pop in cans! Turns out, the dishes fairy was too good to be true.

I finally told Ange my dishes fairy theory. She shot me down and said, "No, I put them away every morning after I eat my breakfast".

Of all the things she could have said, I'm glad she was honest, but I would have said "Well, I thought you were putting them away..." kept her going Grandpa Hill style.

Where's the Faith??

So it seems as if my family doesn't exactly have faith in me (Jennifer).

A few weeks ago when the grater (not front end loader) cleaned the street, it made an awful mess on the street where I need to park my car. So I put on my toque and Angela's functional gloves because I all own are fashionable ones, and started moving the snow and ice chunks so my car could park closer to the curb.

Little did I know that inside, Angela, Grant, our Dad, and our cousin Erica, were taking bets on how long I would last outside. While my dad had the least faith thinking I wouldn't last 5 minutes, I lasted 30, with a little help from my favorite brother in law, who came "to help if I lasted ten minutes".

Then last night, I was going through the Regina leisure guide dreaming about all the cool classes I could take if I wasn't severly oppressed as a student. I said to Ange "Hoop It up! I'm taking that its a hula hoop class".

She responded with "Didn't you just almost kill yourself with a hula hoop". My reply? "No, that was different, it was my hip, and that was on Wii, not a real hula hoop".

She didn't even need to look over at me, without missing a beat she just said "Well, wear a helmet".

Feeling jilted, I texted my best friend Krista with what Ange had just said. Her reponse? You probably better".

I guess through the years, I have made my identity being some what of a klutz. And this only leaves me the opportunity to prove them wrong.

Patty "BadPants" Loveless

To commemerate the second anniversary of the Jordan Knight run-in, Jen and I went to see Patty Loveless at the Casino. Well, it was actually just a coincidence that it was the same day as the Jordan Knight anniversary, but we still thought it was worth celebrating.

Anyway, Patty is one of our favorite 90's country singers. She has a stunning voice and lots of great songs. However, as we learned tonight, she is a horrible dresser. As in, I have never seen such bad pants. It was like someone dared her to wear them on stage. We're still trying to figure out what the pattern was. Jen thinks they are velvet; I think they have orange cats on them. (We'll get a photo up here so you can see.) And the shirt wasn't much better. It was black, like the bad pants, but not the right shade. And it was ruffled with a collar - kinda like the white shirt I had back in grade 9 ... let's see, that would have been 1993, around the time her last hit was on the radio. (Maybe I'll find a photo of that too ... I'm pretty sure I wore it to the year-end dance.)

This isn't meant to be a Patty-bashing session, because she still did a great set of songs, once I quit being distracted by the pants. Jen thought she missed a bunch of her favorites from her CJVR free stage days, but there's only so many songs you can fit into 90 minutes. The Casino is also a great place to see live acts - good acoustics, limited seating, and a kick-ass veggie dip tray for only $5.95.

So from this former country radio announcer and current country blogger, five out of five - aside from the pants.

Well... the weather outside is frightful...

So, today is the first snowfall here in Regina (and most places around Saskatchewan).

I have to say I feel really conflicted. Although everything looks gorgeous covered in that white fluffy stuff, it's still snow.

Now that the snow is here, I do feel less weird having wrapped Christmas gifts. Christmas carols and christmas baking are right around the corner too. Movies like Off to Grandmother's House We Go, Elf, and National Lampoons Christmas Vacation will be frequenting tv. Oh, and almost a month off school in December is something I love too.

However, it's hard to forget that this is the start of 5 months of warming the vehicle, wearing boots, jackets, mitts, toques, having to wipe Zeke's feet every time he comes inside. As well, I'm highly doubting that my Dad is going to take Angela and I back to Maui (Ange probably wouldn't fit in the airplane bathroom if he did).

I guess the bright side of this winter is that will be Angela popping out those cute little babies in almost no time... although they will be lectured on staying inside as long as possible!

Hip Baby Stores ... Or Not

When you're expecting a baby (or babies) you get to shop at all the cool baby stores. Lots of hip trendy places where they sell the latest must-have items.

Of course, they aren't all trendy.

In my prenatal class, the instructor was telling us about these maternity belly support belts that support your back and your baby bump. With my not-so-great back anyway, and my impending twin baby bump, I thought this was a great idea.

So, I didn't go to Groovy Mama, or Simply Spoiled, or even the baby section at Sears.

I went to Jollys Vet Supply. That's right. Right next to the equine and cattle supplies, you can get maternity support belts. Now, in all fairness, they also sell splints and slings and other medical supplies - for humans.

Now here's a coincidence. As I was telling the lady working that I was buying a larger size than normal because I'm pregnant with twins, she told me she was an identical twin too! What are the chances of that!?

I took that as a sign that this support belt, from the vet store, was meant to be mine!

Dear Raymore,

I had completely forgot about the shock of Nov. 2009. Until I returned to the scene of the crime, and as I opened the door, it all came flooding back. If you don't know what I mean you should read the following link.

http://angeandjen.blogspot.com/2009/11/warning-disturbing-material-below.html

Seeing the sight of that old lady with the stall door open might have triggered Post Traumatic Stress. I think I need to start carrying more than hot dogs and mashed potatoes in my purse, that yellow caution tape would come in way too handy!!

Anyway, thanks for reminding me why I don't stop to pee in Raymore.

Jennifer

Another post about Angela being with children! Haha!

She's normal. Other than the belly at the front, she's totally normal. Well, she's sharing my closet, that's new.

So she supposedly has these hormones, but I'm the one who cries over a photo or ketchup packet and snaps when people can't read my mind. Angela is doing pregnancy Angelina Jolie style -- just meaning she's being all movie star, looking great and still being nice. Angelina also has twins... hmmm. It kinda seems like twins are stalking us ever since we found out there was 2 babies.

Anyway, I have to say I'm really proud of her for doing so well and being so "Grandma Hill" through it all (that's my colloquialism for sweet and nice). And after living together and seeing my crazy, she's probably thinking "I'm definitely not going near Jennifer if she ever gets pregnant... I'll send my kids!" Haha.

She's so lucky, she'll be able to send her kids to do her dirty work. I guess there is an upside to being a parent.

Thanksgiving Jengela Style

Angela, my wonderful sister, made this huge delicious spread for thanksgiving. It was amazing. And she was doing it all herself, without water for part of it (Shout out to the new water heater!), at 5 months pregnant with twins. So, she was pretty much like a superhero.

But even superhero's aren't perfect. After we ate, we pulled the table cloth off of Angela's perfect kitchen table... or what was a perfect kitchen table. Here is what we saw:

After the "Oh Crap" Moments, google got its exercise on! Turns out this is totally fixable. And an easy solution, and we didn't have to buy anything. All it took to restore the table was a blowdryer and about 30 minutes...maybe a little more. See look at that:

Back to perfection!! So, I hope to pass on this home remedy and prevent future freak outs if this ever happens to you!!

Pants Hangers and Blowdryers, some things don't come easy. At least to us!

So, I may not have known how to work a pants hanger until Angela showed me, but she had no idea the back peice of the blowdryer comes off so you can clean the lint screen.

See, I teach her things too. And I feel slightly better about using the pants hangers wrong for 4 months, because she's been oblivious to cleaning blowdryer lint for like 15 years.

Angela Vs. Jennifer

So, my entire life I have always wanted to be just like my big sister -- Have the same haircut, wear the same clothes and I always wanted to do everything Angela did, and then as I got older, I decided I wanted to do everything she did, but better.

I had a better biology mark than her in high school. I grew 3 inches taller than her. I will have my degree at 26, 5 years earlier Angela.

But I came to realize last night, if I ever want to out-do Angela, I'll have to have TRIPLETS!!!

So, I would like to thank Baby A and Baby B for ending my sisterly competition...

People Watching...

Do you ever see people and think "Oh, I'm so glad that's not me".

Yesterday, I saw a lady walking 3 cats and I had that exact thought. And once in Costco, I saw a man buying 12 50lb bags of cat litter, same thought.

So, right now, as you're feeling tired, or bitchy or wishing things were better, be glad you aren't those two!!

The Little Things...

There are so many times a day, I look at Ange and say "this needs to be a blog". It happens even more frequently now that we live together again and that Ange is having a new adventure being pregnant.

For example, today we went to the Cream of the Crop craft show. We parked next to a lady who had a cd adhered perpendicularly to her hitch on her car. It's always nice to get the stange out of the way early in a trip.

Whenever Ange and I got seperated, she never worried because "you're at the table with the dips". She was right, multiple times she caught me dipping the disgusting pretzels into the dip, licking the dip off, and sticking the unbitten pretzels into my bunnyhug pocket until I had a chance of discretely disposing of them. I hate pretzels. They taste awful. I really really hate pretzels, like as much as I hate Uma Thurman. That's a lot.

Anyway, Ange had bought some dip mix at the craft show, so we made it for our Saturday night snack. She had bought chips, veggies and pretzels to go with. And here is how the conversation went:

Ange: Get a bowl
Jennifer: WHAAAAT? Are you going to put the chips and pretzels in the same bowl??
Ange: No, I'm not some kind of animal
Jennifer: Thank god.

Sometimes I wonder if its maybe a sister thing that our food can't touch. But as we watch the movie Grant picked, she's mocking me with chips and pretzels on the same plate!!

Dear Aunty Shannon

I have a boogie in my nose. I know it isn't Jesus like I tried to tell you when I was 5. And its not the nose ring you hated. It's a boogie and I'm gonna blow it out when Ange gets out of the bathroom!!

Love you! Thanks for reading our blog, Jennifer

I learn something everyday. For reals yo!

Ya know pant hangers?? I've just recently become introduced to them (I as in Jennifer, not Angela). I kinda thought they were dumb because it was so hard to get your pants into.

Well, while watching Ange pack clothes that are too snug around her belly, she snapped the top of her pant hanger and voila, the pants came out.

HOLY CRAP!!! That makes it so much easier than prying the bottom open with your fingers and sliding the pants in.

I had no idea the top could do that!! I checked my hangers, they do that too!! I did it wrong for 4 months, but Angela truly saved me a lifetime!!

Angela's Pregnancy by Jennifer

I love living with Angela and watching her get cuter everyday. And by cuter, I mean she's starting to look like me!! I never thought it would happen since she looks like the materal side of our family and I take after the paternal side. But here are a few observations so far:

We are now sharing clothes, and by that I mean, she is wearing some of my hoodies and pants, some of which she said she won't be returning. Her boobs are a little bigger, and she got to experience what bra shopping for me was like! Her tummy is a little rounder, but she has the peace of know it's growing babies and will go away in 6 months. She'll get some stretch marks, just like me! Her panties will cut into her fat and make rolls. Ahhh, the similarities of pregnancy and "huskiness" as Grandpa N. would call it!

I feel like we can finally bond over something more than Jordan Knight... ok, we pretty much bond over everything, but still, this is new and exciting!

Anyway, I hope everyone reading our blog will love hearing about Angela's pregnancy adventure co starring Jennifer!!

Jennifer by the numbers...

Technically it's Jennifer's student loan 2010 by the numbers: (This is not as exciting as a baby or 2!!)

45 minutes of online forms
2 weeks of waiting
1 phone call
1 more week of waiting (and 4 post office trips for our dear mom!)
1 trip to the University of Regina.
$2 for parking.
9 swears for not having your SIN card and delaying the process
5 construction zones over 200 kms of highway to meet the SIN card in Wakaw
45 kms saved by taking the god forsaken construction ridden highway
20 minutes NOT saved taking the shortcut. (FU Hwy 2!!)
1 ice cream to help the hurt feelings (Thanks Mom!)
4 Post Offices before finding one that accepts Student Loan Forms

Money on the first day of class = worth it!! (the $3500 forgiven by the Government helps was on replay through my mind while I was living the nightmare too)

Every moment in this day felt like "seriously?, seriously?" and everytime I saw that orange construction sign I thought "You HAVE to be kidding me". No joke. It was a day from hell. The things I'll do for money...

All Things Twins

At the request of family members who are as obsessed with my identical twins as I am, here are some things I learned today about twins.

Famous twins: both Alanis Morrisette and Ashton Kutcher have a fraternal twin. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are NOT identical twins (I know, this surprised me too, but sometimes fraternal twins can look very much alike).

My former co-worker's sister who had fraternal twins told me I was having "real" twins, because my egg actually split, while she just had two eggs. I laughed and said that hers were equally as real as mine are!

Speaking of other families, we joined the Parents of Multiples Association in town ... I have always imagined joining Jordan Knight's fan club, but never a group like this ... you never know what life may throw at you!

Other pregnancy-related news ... I threw up today! My first barf of the pregnancy! I can't believe I went 14 weeks without that, and then poof! Hope that doesn't become a common occurence. I was looking forward to the end of the first trimester to get away from all that nausea business!

I am looking forward to my 18 week ultrasound so I can see my babies again! Hope they are happy in there! Everyone out here is waiting for you two!

Amendment to The Numbers Game

Make that TWO baby announcements you never thought you'd be reading! Identical twins will be arriving by March 6th, 2011!

The Numbers Game

Angela and Grant, by the number:
5 years of dating, plus
10 years of marriage
2 diplomas then
2 degrees
16 (!) jobs in
4 cities (well, 3 cities and a town) in
9 different homes with
1 crazy dog, and now ...

1 baby announcement you never thought you'd be reading.

Estimated date of arrival
March 12, 2011

Best. Blog. Ever.

(Cue movie announcer guy ...)

"It's the blog you've been waiting for all summer. Drama, action and all the edge-of-your-seat excitement that you can handle. It's The Numbers Game, coming to a blog near you, Thursday, August 26, 2010."

(End movie announcer guy ...)

I get it. I have not been blogging. I will make up for it. Soon.

Ange, Where are you??

Ange hasn't blogged in a long time. She's busy with her DVR full of Golden Girls. I would like to apologize on her behalf. And send my apologies that when I move to her house in 12 days, my blogs may possibly become as infrequent as hers (due to the Golden Girls, of course).

Ange, if you are reading this, have you forgot our blog password? Is that why you give priority to the DVR? I'm pretty sure you snaked a drain with your husband and that our readers, and myself would like to hear about that adventure.

I miss you. And I miss laughing at your blogs. It's not all about me you know. HAHAHAHA! That is first time I've ever communicated that sentiment. I don't think I could say that out loud without laughing.

Also, I bring a Costco membership to this cohabitation relationship, does that decrease rent or chores at all??

Seatbelt Muffin Top

Well, I know Toyota has been under a lot of media scrutiny lately, but for a family trip out West, my dad rented a Corolla.

Did you know that Toyota has been ranked the safest car for 5 years in a row?? It's true. And after spending more than 12 hours in one, I know why.

The seatbelts lock extremely tight and frequently. So tight you can't bend forward to reach anything. So tight that if you try to move, you get seat belt muffin top across your whole torso.

But it did make me wonder if I need to lay off the Co-op Gold Jalapeno and Dill Potato Chips.

Hell Yeah!

Ok, so I found something, well actually Megan found something, but I fell in love with them.

Jalapeno & Dill potato chips.

I love them, which makes sense because I like dill pickle chips, and I like jalapeno chips. Some Co-op genius decided to put those flavours together and make my world an even better place. Yes, these are Co-op Gold brand chips. No corporate giant like Lays came up with this.

So I just want to send a shout out to the idea machine that made these chips possible. And to recommend to our blog readers that they should eat some.

Craven 2010

Ahhh... the weekend of waiting.

Ange and I went to Craven --almost everyday. ALMOST. I guess it's my own fault for not including enough in my craven prayer, which went something like this:

I pray that pre shopping, I don’t sit in pee. I pray that vehicle windshields are safe from birds and rocks. I pray that on the trip to Regina, my car passes through Davidson without difficulty. I pray that my key won’t bust off in the car door. I pray waxing my legs won’t be pointless and I can wear shorts, or at least capri pants. I pray that I can wear my pants the whole weekend without incident. I pray that McDonald’s has ketchup and doesn’t run out. I pray that my rubber boots remain safe from thieves. I pray that Lori and Dwayne will get great seats each day for the shows. I pray the buses are free from Billy Joel wannabes and bus drivers don’t have to stop to lecture anyone. I pray Zeke won’t bark outrageously when we come home and wake up Grant. Finally, I pray that the mud and bugs are minimal.

So it turns out I forgot to pray that buses would be on time, not 4 hours late and I forgot to pray to see Neal McCoy's "not to be missed" amazing show. I also forgot to pray for no line ups.

I'll remember for next year, this blog as my witness!!

Aero Vs. Oreo

Do you really need to give your employees more to struggle with?? The phonetic difference between Aero and Oreo is not enough, and on two separate occasions they’ve messed up the McFlurry orders. They got it right this week by some miracle. I wanted to tip the clerk that’s how insanely happy I was.

So, c'mon McDonald's, I urge you to find another candy or cookie to further mess this up!

Mmm... Robert Downey Jr.

I just watched Iron Man 2. In russian, not english.

I noticed about 49 minutes into the movie. This says a few things. First of all, I should maybe get hearing aids. Possibly, I should cough up the $4 to see the movie in english at the Rainbow and not watch it for free online (in a foreign language).

This also signifies how good of a movie Iron Man 2, that I completely grasped the plot and concepts. As well, it shows how smokin' hot Robert Downey Jr. is that I can watch for that long and not notice the wrong language, and then continue watching because I don't care and he's smokin' hot!!

So, my review -- Iron Man 2 -- good movie in english or russian.

Blog Drought

We haven't blogged in a long time. In fact, not really much for the ol' blog the whole time that it's been raining around these parts. So, the only logical conclusion is that as the rainfall and water levels increase, the blogs decrease. A blog drought if you will.

And, I am blogging about blogging which is the lamest blog of all! So sorry to our friends and fans. With Craven 2010 right around the corner, I predict a blog increase in the near future.

On another note, I just read on YouTube that if you hear a song you like it's called an 'eargasm'. Now why didn't I know that when I worked in radio? I probably gave eargasms all the time and didn't even know it!

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand blogs

Mother F!@#%&

I hit the ditch. On the way to a class that was cancelled. With a dead cell phone. On a snowy May day.

Right after I talked about how blessed and wonderful my life is.

I think it might be karma from "miscalculating" some numbers on my return from the US.

But I took care of it myself. I am proud that I was able to get out of my vehicle, walk back to the highway in flip flops (I had shoes in the back, but it made sense to get my feet wet and dry them off rather than wet the shoes) in a snow/mud covered ditch and flag down a car so I could call CAA, while holding it together and not bawling. The logical problem solver was there before the traumatized mess.

The positive part of me did have the internal dialogue that said: you didn't flip, you didn't fly into oncoming traffic, you didn't land in a dugout, you're physically fine, you have CAA Gold, there were no coyotes around to eat me, I had heat and a radio, there was no significant damage done to my vehicle and I had 5 vehicles stop to offer help.

That internal dialogue lasted 5 seconds before I started crying. I was traumatized. I have been driving for 10 years and have never once hit the ditch. But that fricking ice/slush patch did me in. I had just slowed down because a semi infront of me was going slow and spraying mist, so because I wasn't in a huge rush, I just backed off. But I was still going between 90 and 100km/h. Combine that with the momentum of an out of control car and a girl who knew not to hit the brakes and make things worse, I spun around twice in the opposite lane and ditch before flying through the snow bank and heading through thick mud towards a dug out. I stopped fifty feet short of the dugout.

I had forty five minutes before the tow truck arrived to go over the details in my head, three of which I used to watch the grader come and clean the icy slushy patch I slipped on. So when the crabby CAA tow truck driver showed up, I was thankful, until he opened his mouth. "You need to slow down". I just stared. He repeated himself. The rage that consumed me in the moment could have physically torn his arms and legs off so I could beat him with them. I didn't need a lecture. I'm a grown up. I know I should have slowed down more when hitting a patch of slushy ice. But I was by no means speeding. He said I was the 4th person to hit the ditch here. Second today. I wondered if they got the lecture or if it was just the young, blonde haired, 2 door car driving female. I guarantee an older looking male counterpart wouldn't have... which makes me even madder.

I'm blessed it was minor. It could have been much worse. I controlled my emotions and solved the problem first. But that doesn't make it suck any less. Did I mention I had to pee?

At least I wasn't late for class. (SCREAM) Or allergic to my pants... Haha!

Some people are allergic to cheese. I am allergic to my pants.

Okay, this isn't even a joke. I went to the doctor twice.

First time I had an actual rash in the exact shape of my bra line. I was pretty sure I would be able to sue La Senza. That doctor said "it's an allergy...put this cream on it, it will go away".

It went away.

Then, a different kind of rash showed up on my upper thighs, and part of my back, and part of my calves. My regular doctor was busy, so I saw the walk-in dude. He says "it's an allergy...did you try new soap? New pants? Seafood?"...I could tell he really wanted me to say "Oh yeah, I have new soap, with new pants and I ate octupus for dinner." But none of that was true!

So what I've concluded is, I am allergic to pants. And bras. This could have a significant impact on my social life, not to mention my career.

I actually have photos, but although I pretty muhc share all details here, I draw the line at posting rash photos. I mean, I do have SOME online boundaries.

So, wish me well as I try to figure out what the hell is causing my itchy, rashy redness!! ARGH!

Sin City meet Jennifer

Las Vegas is like another planet. It's slow all day long, but once night hits, it's complete mayhem.

Every skinny person has fake boobs. Boys wear purple crocs. Yeah, that's plural. I saw more than one boy wearing purple crocs. But that's better than the people who don't wear shoes at all.

I also got some insight into the obesity problems. Instead of stairs and ramps, they have escalators and walkways, some even lead directly to McDonald's.

Tipping on this planet has to be second nature. They won't let you do anything yourself, because that would be free and you wouldn't have to shell money out to anyone. I F$%^ING HATE TIPPING. I spent more money on tipping than I did on booze and gambling combined.

Also, the planet of Las Vegas smells like old lady glade plug-ins. It causes instant headaches. I'm not sure how anyone can stand it.

Anyway, Las Vegas is pretty awesome despite its quirks. But Canada is better. Way less loud obnoxious people here.

Life is Good

I'm having the best year of my life. Things could not possibly go any better.

I've gone on incredible trips to Maui and Las Vegas. I loved my job at the Chamber. I won scholarships. I met a very nice, cute and respectful guy. I enjoy my classes including a new scary one, which has two assignments I've done before!! I love the World Gym so much, I go for hours a day. I have a wonderful family that I love despite their issues. My friends are amazing. I'm truly blessed that this is the life I get to live.

I just feel guilty. I feel guilty that things are wonderful for me and that I'm so happy when other people have lives filled with pain and hurt. I feel guilty saying how truly happy I am because I feel like I'm rubbing it in other people's faces. I feel bad that they aren't as happy as I am. It's not like crappy stuff doesn't happen to me. It does. It just seems like the happy stuff is so much bigger.

So I just needed to vent about how deliriously happy I am and not feel like I was rubbing it in anyone's face.

Jen on Fire

So, my best friend Krista has an adorable baby, Brooklyn. Brooklyn is 7 months and about 17lbs. I love her. A lot. So, knowing that I'm going to Las Vegas next week, I decided I was going to hog her... Bad decision.

So I held her throughout the grocery stores. I held her in the Pizza place. I held her at the park.

That night my arm was so sore it was keeping me from falling asleep. Finally, 2 am hits, and I know I have an interview in the morning and need to be well rested. I put on the Arbonne version of A535. It works AWESOME!!! I love the stuff. One of its best features is that it will reactivate the heat when its warm.

I woke up, jumped in the shower and the water is hot. Normal right?? It was my arm that was begin reheating that caused some discomfort. It was on fire. It was warm to touch, My blood was boiling. It was sooo hot. I thought I was going to die throughout my entire job interview.

But I forgot about the muscle pain...

Drunk People are Funny!

If you are in need of a smile or laugh, click below:

http://perezhilton.com/2010-04-20-drunk-people-are-funny

I really laughed out loud. It reminded me of Craven.

84 days til Craven!!

In case you haven't noticed...

I've been saving up blogs. I make a list and write them when I want to procrastinate doing something else. Like studying.

It also makes me weed out the ones that are crappy.

So I'll leave you with this thought, it's my current favorite:

May the hair on your lip grow upside down and get tangled in the hair coming out of your nose

Lap N Snack

So, there is this commercial for the Lap and Snack. A bowl that fits on your leg so you don't need to balance, you don't have to hold the bowl and it makes it easier to share. I always get so excited when it comes on because of course, I want one. Badly. As bad as I want bandaids that have pickles on them.

Half way through the commercial, the screen and my dream of lap 'n' snack ownership is ripped away to reveal an SUV. And then the commercial has the audacity to tell me to get out more. Pfff. Whatever. I want the lap 'n' snack more than the SUV.

I love my old school cell phone but...

My phone has Alzheimer’s. No, not really. However, my texts are no longer being received in the manner I prefer – promptly! But I have a theory. It is because of stupid people (probably girls, sorry I'm a chick and I even think that young girls are getting stupider by the minute, ex. TV show 16 and pregnant, I dare you to watch it for an enitre episode and not purchase a gun immediately after).

Anyway, they are tying up the text magic signal land because their bored and think texting makes them look cool, when it really makes you look self absorbed. And these girls, I have ideas on what they could be doing.

They could be writing a dictionary full of words that don’t exist, kape!

VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I just want to throw this out there, but there are way too many bald guys walking around with long hair.

Growing your hair longer does not compensate for only having it on the sides or back or middle of your head.

Looking at your nasty Bret Michaels inspired hair makes me get a headache. It causes my retinas to become confused and not understand how to synapse, improperly sending messages through my optic nerve to the occipital lobe, so please stop! Or at least do as Bret Michaels, at least he covers the bald part with a bandana and hat.

Oh, and Flava Fav, I'm gunning for you next. I still don't understand why you are on you 4th reality tv show. And how there can be that many trashtastic ho's who want to be with you. You're like 50. Have 10 kids. And are 5'1". No one wants to be with you. Except maybe the prostitute from Borat.

Good Lord, when will it end...

So, I've been in Saskatoon since Sunday.

Sunday night, I vacuumed all the carpet in the house. Standing at the end of the hallway, I decided to use an attachment around the edges. I pulled the handle attached to the hose and dust exploded everywhere. I had to ask Angela how to use the vacuum, which I'm still not convinced I have the skill to do.

Yesterday, I decided to have toast. I put the bread in the toaster. And all I see are button and dials. Frozen, Fresh, Bagel, 1-8 darkness settings, and a cancel button. But I can't get the toaster to start. There was no start button, so I pushed on the bread. Nothing! Finally, as I was about to give up, I noticed the lever that is on every toaster made in Canada since 1973. Apparently, toaster usage isn't easy for me either.

But what really takes the cake was tonight when I was making pasta. I thought to check the jar of pasta sauce to make sure it was mold free first. So I grabbed the jar, twisted the lid and cut my finger open on pasta sauce. I was bleeding profusely, similar to a paper cut. I had cut myself opening a jar. I mean, the pasta sauce was dried, hard, and apparently sharp but still... Is this what my life is going to be.

Am I really going to be the klutz who hurts herself on pasta sauce??

I guess I don't really care because I have 5 coupons for Booster Juice, and those coupons made my day, and possibly week. They are the International Symbol of "everything's going to be ok". Ange said she was going notify the UN so they can prepare for world peace.

Fate screws with Jennifer.

I had plans. Wonderful, glorious plans for the last summer that I will be a student.

Social Services called. Oh, no, not in that way! They want to hire me, well, at least interview me.

I talked to Angela, and that helped. But I want to talk to my Dad. And he’s not currently in the country. I know he’ll be home tomorrow but I’m thinking about this now!!! So in his place, I’ve made lists... Reasons to take the job and reasons not to

Reasons why: money, experience, good for resumes, I’ll be busier, do both if SS will accommodate classes, closer to Brooklyn

Reasons why not: It’s Melfort, I can’t live with Mom, SS is not a division I’m interested in, classes are registered for May, better health in Saskatoon/happier.

Then my Aunty Shannon played the “what’s more important game” which really helped. What’s more important having the experience (in a field and town where I don’t want to work) and money (which is nice, but isn’t a motivating factor) or finishing your degree sooner (which if I don’t take summer classes, I will have to get permission to take extra classes one semester or add one on at the end and that’s not appealing)

I feel like I have some clarity, and a lot of questions for my interviewers...

I shouldn't complain that too many good things happen at once and ruin my other great plans. I'm such a lucky girl!

Quarter of a Century!

I turned 25 last Monday. I had a great day. I received so many beautiful birthday wishes that at one point during the day I actually cried.

But the best part of the day is when Dad took me out for supper. I ordered a Peach Bellini. The waitress then asked for my ID!

I sure hope that happens when I turn 35!

Thanks God for making two celebrity Wahlbergs

You know about my minor obsession with the New Kids, which has one Wahlberg in it, but did I ever mention my other Wahlberg love - as in Mark? I saw Date Night tonight and thank God he is shirtless in it the whole time.

Now, as I reminisce, I thought it was important to dig out this ad from 1992. Which I totally had on my bedroom wall. Which I think I actually kept in my souvenir box somewhere. But thankfully since 1992 the Internet has become mainstream and I could just find it on Google Images.

So, here ya go. And let me just ask, who still looks that good after 18 years!?!

It's Your Birthday, Happy Birthday...

Happy Quarter Century to Jen! Have a wonderful birthday.
Love your co-blogging author and sister,
Ange

(To review my favorite baby Jen story, make sure and read last year's April 5th post.)

Boys. Not Men.

I joined Jen and her friends the other night at a Saskatoon country music bar. (Where else would we go?) This was a first. Other than Craven, I am quite sure the bar is not a place we frequent together. I wasn't much of a bar hopper when I was 21 and I am definitely not now that I am 31.

Anyway, other than the reduction in tobacco smoke, not much has changed since I was 21. At this particular bar they still play country music from 1995, so that was fantastic. Oh, and people have cell phones now. So that has changed too. I am sure people had cell phones when I was 19, 20 and 21, but let's think back to 1997 shall we? Do you remember what your phone looked like? Not pretty. It probably didn't fit in your pocket. If you even had one. Other than that, it's a bunch of drunk guys slobbering over girls who spent too much time on themselves getting ready.

So, the other thing I couldn't quite figure out was why people look so ... different? Boys in particular. It wasn't until I was chatting at one point with Laurie (shout out to you hun!), who lives in the age range of 27-ish, when she said, "Y'know, the boys are cute here, but they're all, like, 22."

That's when it occured to me.
The boys are 10 years younger than me. Really, they are ... boys. Not men.
I stayed the same, but THEY got younger.

What I did not realize about aging is that you stay the same on the inside, but everyone else around you gets younger! WTF?! It wasn't until the two cops walked in when I realized THE COPS WERE MY AGE! What kind of Twilight Zone place is this?! Sure, there were some older people there. Like the bartender. But the age range went from 20's to 40's, with not alot of 30's in between.

So, shortly after, I called Dad, he picked us up, and I went back to being surrounded by my family and not by boys by brother's age.

Blogging Insight!

Blogs are kinda like song writing, you have to write a lot to get a hit. I’ve written a lot of blogs, but sometimes its the situation where you have to be there. For example, Grandma Nelson is so much funnier in person. Hence, why I need the TV show!!!

Karma, Faith and Signs

So, I believe things happen for a reason. I believe that for most bad things too. They only seem bad, and could’ve been worse. And the bad things are what make the wonderful things so wonderful. I have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I believe in karma, do good and you’ll receive good, do bad and you’ll receive bad. I also believe in signs. That some moments in life you’ll see something and it’ll shock you.

Well that’s what happened to me this past weekend. I was thinking about a cute boy, who will remain nameless. Later that night when I looked at the chalk board in the hall that said “Happy Birthday Janice”, I notice some writing inside the balloons drawn on the board. It said “Jen” and then below to the left it had this nameless boy’s initials. No one in Biggar would possibly know that. So I think it’s a sign. That and my subconscious is super obsessed with him. He’s reoccurring in way too many dreams.

I’m doing nothing. Well, I guess I’m writing this blog about. But that’s all the action I’m taking. I’m not a crazy stalker.

Could you imagine, “Hi, Cute Boy! I saw our names on a chalk board in Biggar and I dream about you a lot. Wanna hang out??” May as well tattoo CRAZY on my forehead!

Ugh! My shoes...

I was in Biggar on the weekend for a cabaret. During the cabaret, about 6 drinks in (so I was still sober enough to realize what was happening), I went to buy another drink. In line, at the bar I could feel wetness in my socks. I looked down and there was water, two inches deep, everywhere!!!

A toilet in the boy’s bathroom was overflowing. Into the bar. And onto the dance floor. GROSS

Needless to say, this was point I knew that I wouldn’t be forgetting this night. The next day, I didn’t want to put my shoes on. After I touched them to put them on, I sanitized my hands. When I got home, my Mom threw them in the washing machine.

I still can’t wear them though. There’s toilet water stigma on them.

Brotherly Love

Yesterday night I decided to finish my Christmas baking. I had everything I needed to make toffee! The most wonderful delicious incredible toffee. So at 10:30, I started stirring the butter, sugar, eagle brand and corn syrup, it was ready to sit overnight!

Today, Mom, Corey and I all had a few peices, but it was Grandma and Grandpa, mostly Grandpa who ate HALF the pan. So I was a little shocked when I got home from work at 4:30.

After supper I went to have another peice, and this is what I saw:

Thanks Corey. I love you too.

Finally! My opportunity to dis Taylor Swift

Okay, before I get into my rant that I've been thinking about for a while, courtesy of Ms. Swift, can I just please take a moment to acknowledge those who have such intelligence and clever wit to come up with "Jengela"? Like seriously, that is awesomeness. That will also help keep us from getting confused between the other famous Ange and Jen - Jolie and Aniston, of course.

Thanks to the anonymous comment left on the Crazy Eyes blog, left by probably Heather; maybe Penny (come clean whoever you are!); this is the perfect place to launch into my rant against Taylor Swift.

Now, I know it's not a popular opinion. It's like saying you don't like puppies and sunshine and rainbows. But she just gets on my nerves in the biggest way. I used to think it was just my demographic. She isn't exactly targeted at the over 25 age group. Or over 21 even. But there are other people roughly my age who don't seem to mind her that much. My favorite XM stations lately have been 1990s and Prime Country, because they are guaranteed to be Taylor-free zones! Like, was she even BORN in the 1990s? (Okay, she was born in 1989. I Googled it.)

Arguably she is a good songwriter; assuming you like songs about boys, and falling in love with boys, and finding your true love who is a boy, and belonging to a boy, and being 15. Are you catching a theme here? I often think to myself, if I was still 15 or 17 or 20, would this music appeal to me? I mean, I get why girls like it. I wasn't always cynical and realistic. I was once a hopeless romantic too. You should see the stuff I have saved from when Grant and I were dating. But back when I was 15, the hit song wasn't some teen queen -- it was Whitney (pre-crack) belting a song written by Dolly (pre-surgery #167). Now THAT was a love song.

I know she's likable. I would just like to go ONE day without hearing her songs on every pop AND country radio station. I know lots of radio friends. Maybe they can help me. Dave? Cristy? Jeremy? Brad? For the LOVE OF GOD!! Make it stop!!

Crazy Eyes

Last night, I texted my best friend, "There’s a guy trying to dance with me but I can’t tell where his eyes are looking because they point different ways." This was her response and this is also why she is my best friend!

“Follow the one that isn’t pointing the ceiling. He obviously spotted you so it’ll probably be the eye he’s closest to you with, or go up behind him and tap him on the shoulder and see which way he turns, if his left eyes good he’s straight, but if it’s his right he’s bad.”

She followed that with, “You’re a good looking girl, you deserve better than a pirate.”

Cartwheels!

I get in trouble sometimes when I try to show off my athletic ability. Probably because I'm not athletic. And it takes a little bit of vodka for me to think I am. It's part of the "audience disease" I blogged about last March, surprisingly at the same event in Biggar... when I split my pants.

So, when deciding to do a cartwheel, which I CAN do as of 1995, there's a few things to consider:

• that your clothes will still be appropriately placed on your body
• that the cement will hurt your hand and to choose grass
• that the grass you choose doesn't belong to a dog

Failure to consider these can lead to some less than pleasant consequences for yourself, but your friends will find it hilarious!

ATTENTION!!

Dear friends who read our blog but do not "follow us" officially,

We're on facebook now too. So we expect you to become a fan. Especially if you're already on facebook. You have no excuse.

So GO! Go become a fan!!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Ange-and-Jen-Have-A-Blog-Because-No-One-Will-Give-Them-A-TV-Show/100583506648051?ref=nf

Thanks, Jen

F U D Q

Picture this, Sicily 1912... No wait, that's Sophia's line! (I'm newly addicted to the Golden Girls!).

Ok, picture this, Whaler's Village, Maui, 2010:

I want to have a talk about the only place in world that has mountains of incredibleness for only 42 cents an oz.

It's better than Candyland! Candyland is actually the Nutter's bulk store in Melfort, but when we were little we'd drive by and beg for a stop at Candyland, to get bulk candy. It probably cost Dad $1 for both Corey and I, and he got to be hero-esque for the rest of the day.

It's Yogurtland.

Yogurtland had dozens of flavors of frozen yogurt, and you can blend them together and they come out into a huge one size bowl. Or you can have a few little piles of different kinds of frozen yogurt in the same bowl. The options are nearly endless.

Once you have your yogurt in your giant bowl, you get to pick from like 50 different kinds of fruit and candy, like strawberries, mango, pineapple, kiwi, m&m's, kit kat, twix! You name it. And you get to put your own toppings on. It's pretty smart cuz then you can hog the good stuff. And their employees can't screw up putting your toppings on.

I can't tell you exactly how many combinations or permutations there are because I don't remember the formulas, but it's LOTS.

Best part is that it's delicious. And that giant bowl full is about $3. And it's fat-free.

So while I stand on Ka'anapali beach and eat my Yogurtland, the only thing I can think of is how screwed over I feel for living my life for 24 years without Yogurtland. I'm also pissed off that Dairy Queen's limited flavors and toppings and too much fat and sugar cost twice that!!!!!

F*CK YOU DAIRY QUEEN

Aging might suck, but I'm still young.

For the past 4 weeks I have been teaching a the Tourism Essentials Certificate Programs which teaches employability/transferable skills. Today, my student wrote their exam. Part of my job as program facilitator is to proctor the exam.

As I was recording photo ID numbers, I realized that out of all my students or co-workers, I was the youngest person there.

Although, one of my students Brenda* (name has been changed) said she never would have guessed that I was younger than her. Thanks! Just what I wanted to hear.

I am having issues coming to terms with being almost 25. I remember when Ange was 25. Isn't she still??

Wait, she can't possibly be since she has been mistaken for my mother. Haha! That is probably one of the most awesome memories from Maui.

"Holla" to the Bubba Gumps waitress who made the mistake!!

WalMart Supercenter: You Have Redeemed Yourself

Tonight on my shopping excursions, I headed down to the same Walmart Supercenter that I bitched about horribly a few weeks back. (February 21 if you're so inclined to look it up.)

I just wanted to say that it was a stupendous trip. As Grandma would say,"I enjoyed myself immensely."

Everything I wanted was in stock. Even the super cheap double roll Royale toilet paper on sale for 4.48. Not only was everything in stock, the store was clean! The shelves were tidy! It was $92 worth of terrific! I even helped a couple who didn't speak much English pick between regular dill pickles and bread-and-butter pickles (if you're reading this nice non-English couple, I hope I helped you choose the right ones...)!

So, just thought I would point that out for those who may be wondering how my Walmart is panning out. I may sometimes pout and bitch, but I also praise and brag!

Aging Sucks.

I had my first moment of "I am too old to wear those" the other day.

I was looking at all the different running shoes in the store, and I saw a sign that said Vans, which was my favorite brand of shoe when I was a young hip teenager. Of course, they no longer resemble what I hoped they would. Now they look like the DC skateboard shoes that teenagers wear.

I picked a pair off the shelf and was struck by this feeling that I had never felt before...something like "if I wore those, I would be the crazy lady in her 30's trying to be cool"...perhaps a subject on What Not To Wear. I admit, this was the first time I ever looked at something and had it occur to me that those were inappropriate for someone my age. Sucky!

On the other hand, I had enough money to buy the leather Kenneth Cole pointy-toed pumps that I love. I couldn't have done that as a 17 year-old snot-nose kid working at KFC. I guess aging does have its advantages.

Idol is good.

I love the big stage. I never realized that I didn't like the other one. This looks like the big time now. And everyone seems better...maybe because they are doing Stones songs which are all good?

Boys Night

Lee kinda made me like that song even better than the original. Fireflies is overplayed on XM like WAY too much.

Alex was weak. And his mullet is getting way longer.

I loved Tim. I think that is my new favorite song. Written by a Canadian - Leonard Cohen - and kd lang kicked it at the Olympics with that song. And then we can have sex by the bleachers. Me and Tim, not me and kd.

Okay, now I am waiting for Adam to kick it like he did with Straight Up. (Sorry, don't know why I am all about the 'kick it' references tonight.) Grant and I both think that was kinda weird...

Casey is doing Keith Urban, and he doesn't even sound like Casey. Which is good.

The kid is having major problems. This song is too big for him.

Todrick reminds me of someone who should be on Broadway. He is so theatrical. But he is a good singer. Grant says "that was bad."

Big Mike is good, but neither of us understood the words, ...and what - Kara is crying!?! What?? Grant and I are in shock...did we miss something?

Um, WHAT?!

We always laugh about the time Grandma told Jen, "your hair looks really good, I almost didn't recognize you." ... of course, Grandma meant that in a GOOD way, but it kinda made it seem like Jen usually looks awful.

Well, tonight I did almost this same thing to my step-sister-in-law. Jaime recently lost 99 pounds. Okay, maybe she's at 100 by now, but the point is, she looks like a different person. In fact, my comment on her Facebook picture was "You look awesome. I had to click on your picture to make sure it was you." Or something to that effect. Um, what? Like she normally DOESN'T look awesome and I couldn't believe she possibly COULD look awesome?? Nice one Ange! Aren't you a professional communicator for a living?!? Way to go with that one!

I went back an hour later after I thought about that comment and tried to explain myself, like an idiot. And Jaime, being as gracious as she is, said she did not take it in a bad way! So Jaime, as I know you read this, congratulations on your achievement, you DO look awesome, and thanks for letting me take my foot OUT of my mouth!

Girls Night. Second edition.

A chance to hear what Grant and I are saying....

Katie - We both say she isn't refined. Maybe she has Down syndrome? (Grant was serious.) Grant misses Adam Lambert (or, "the gay guy from last year"). No charisma. Grant says "they both suck (Lacey and Siobhan)...and I hate Idol."

Siobhan - The judges will love this. I don't mind it, if I don't look at her. She seems too stiff.

Lacey - Grant's not sure how she made it onto this show. "She's as bad as Dolly Parton." Cue glare from me.

He left to go play computer games. So much for the blogging duo.

Katelyn - I loved last week WAY more. Didi - Great at singing and guitar. Sucky at more than that. Paige - WTF?

Crystal is good. But this is a singing competition. I don't think she's the best singer. Good artist? Sure. Ditto for Lilly. But she made this a neat version of I Fall To Pieces.

I'm not a copycat, but I want to jump on Ange's train.

I generally don't watch American Idol, but tonight I did. Here's my condensed thoughts!

Crystal - Why didn't you comb your hair? I get you were in the hospital, but now you're on tv, so grab a brush!

Katie Stevens - that was not the voice I was expecting to come out of her mouth. I was thinking she'd be more Britney/Mandy Moore-ish. She has an old voice, doesn't match the rest of the package... Call the Milli Vanilli police.

Didi - Lean on Me? Seriously? One of the MOST over-done songs ever. I hope you enjoy the extra butt hole the judges should tear you.

Katelyn - my favorite too. She sucked the least. America will like her because she looks like Taylor Swift. Even my dad knows the words to Taylor Swift, everyone, EVERYONE loves Taylor, and now Katelyn can just jump on the Taylor train.

Paige - I remember her only by awfulness, like how awful the song was when Kelly did it, even Reba couldn't fix it. I think "Walk Away" is officially dead and we can call the Funeral Home.

Siobhan - Attention: you are white, not black. They have a word for whities who want to be black. It's Wigger. I'm fairly certain that's a derogatory term, at least I want it to be when refering to Siobhan. Pass me a Snuggie, I'm starting my protest. She'll never win, America won't vote for a name they can't pronounce. She probably won't ever get a job either, because if that resume with that name came across my desk, I'd be like WTF, and shred it. How can I call her for an interview and not sounds like an ass calling her something that sounds like an anal cream.

Lacey, Lilly, Michelle, Haeley: please prepare to be cut, I could barely remember you.

Girls Night: American Idol, March 3rd edition

First, let me point out I don't watch the show live. I DVR it and watch it later, so hopefully you aren't waiting for my blog. (I don't want to keep my two readers waiting.)

Anyway, can I just say I enjoy seeing Kara's new hairdo every night. I think it's extensions.

Crystal Bowersox - Grant says she is not bad for a burnt out hippie. I am a big fan of the gospel sound, but this is boring me. I predict the judges will love it because of her health problems. Yup - four for ... four. Called that brotha'.

Haeley Vaughn - great song choice. I actually like this version better. The music is too loud for her. The end is kinda falling apart...is this because she's 16? I bet she made that hairband. I too am a big fan of hairbands. Just look at any of my photos age 8 and under.

Lacey Brown - she is NOT Stevie Nicks, so let's hope this is an improvement. Well, bad start but it's improving. Way better than last week.

I feel like all the judges want them to be Adam Lambert, changing up every song. They never made those comments last year.

Katie Stevens - good song choice. Judges will say she didn't take enough risks. I feel not as critical on the girls as I was on the guys. Randy - sweet spot...upper register. Ellen - wants to see younger...no dentist's office music. Kara - frustrated...still waiting. Simon - also frustrated...not telling them who she is as an artist. No one talked about risks. I was wrong.

Didi Benami - I like her...hard to change a song as familiar as Lean On Me - it's been redone to the max. Okay, did she just choke up? Never show your weakness!! But don't worry, Ryan is making her feel all better.

(Jen just called to ask if all these girls suck, or is it just her? It's not just her.)

Michelle Delamor - like a pre-crack Whitney. But not as good a singer. I think Whitney wore that exact dress in a video. Back when MTV had videos.

Lilly Scott - I want to push her down the other side of crap mountain. But keep the 12 string. The judges will eat this with a spoon though.

Katelyn Epperly - I just became a fan. Bonus points 'cause I love the piano.

Paige Miles - what is Simon picking off the floor? Oh, I see. He wants to run away. Me too. She is really good actually, but this song is dreadful. The band is so back-up tape too.

Siobhan Magnus - I dislike her. I dislike her alot. I don't even want to watch her sing. I have to look away. I hate her name. Shouldn't I be able to understand the words? This is a mess. Good lord help me. I would rather have a snuggie. Why are the judges loving it?

Small Towns, Saturday Night...

This past weekend, I went to Spalding. Spalding is real small.

After driving down two streets, we found all the vehicles, and of course, the party. Or so we thought... We walked into the bar thinking that with dozens of vehicles outside, there would be lots of people inside. There were 3 people playing cards and 3 people playing pool. And us.

Alicia, Krista and I thought we should have one drink, not just turn around and leave. The first thing we noticed was the fluorescent sweatshirt of the 80's inspired bartender (blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick too). We all looked at eachother and wondered if this was normal and she always dressed like this or if she was dressed up to play cards.

Sometimes in a small town, you just can't tell. It's hard to judge a mental illness from appearance. Well, harder than you'd think!

Long story - short: Party was in the hall next door, and it WAS 80's themed, but sucked. It was all hockey players and their pucks! Plus, the vodka and diet at the bar tastes like blood with a metal aftertaste.

Thanks Jillian Michaels!

I can do twice as many push ups as I did on Monday.

You know what that means, DOUBLE DIGITS!

Think of me as judge #5, if you will

To amuse myself during this year's mediocre American Idol, I have decided to blog as I watch. This way I can share my thoughts, much like a fifth judge would.

Big Mike - he rocked tonight. Kinda like a Barry White, but with muscles instead of an obesity problem. Every person who likes babies is voting for him.

John Park - he thinks he's John Mayer. He's not. I think he could be one of those crossover pop stars who is "really big in Japan."

Casey James - is not a rocker. I would cast him in a Pert commercial. Even Kara doesn't want in his pants tonight.

Alex Lambert - Grant is convinced this guy is related to Adam Lambert. He is certainly not. I think he kinda has a Paul McCartney look. But with a mullet. I am overlooking that because his voice is really smooth. Like buttah'.

Todrick Hall - if there is a God, he will kick this kid off Idol and he will go on to have a successful dance career. (Todrick, not God. Although God could do whatever he wants, really -- we're all just contestants in his Idol-life.) Anyway, there is no career for men who take women's songs, butcher the arrangement and then over sing it. Blech.

Jermaine Sellers - he was one of my faves in the auditions but is slipping down crap mountain. What is that lump on his head?

Andrew Garcia - does anyone else think of Cuba Gooding Jr.? He kicked ass with the Paula Abdul song in Hollywood week. "E" is right (that's Ellen in Randy-speak). He raised the bar and now can't seem to reach it again.

Aaron Kelly - He is so cute. Who was that young kid who almost won this thing a few years back? A smart producer would team those two up and promote their faces all over every piece of merch and bubblegum CD they can get their hands on.

Tim Urban - Okay, I admit, if he wanted to have sex behind the bleachers, I'd probably do it. But I will NOT choose him as the American Idol. Bleacher-sex-idol? Yes. Drive-in-sex-idol? Yes. In-your-parent's-basement-sex? Okay...you get my point.

Lee Dewyze - Simon is on crack. This kid is not the one to beat. He is like every other Daughtry-rocker Idol has pumped out.

Girls night tomorrow...stay tuned.

The Grandma stories don't end in Regina!

Grandma stayed night in Melfort after leaving Regina. Today when I got home from work at lunch, I visited with grandma before heading downstairs to work on homework.

Between 1 and 4, I probably went upstairs 6 or 8 times to get a pen, to get a drink, or just to go pee. I didn't think my presence was secret.

So when I changed into my workout clothes at 4, I was quite surprised when grandma said, "I thought I told you to stay at school"

I wasn't at school. I was home the whole time.

Grandma's Gems

Not one to disappoint, Grandma's visit was entertaining and enjoyable for her, and for me. She was a bit sad that the spring Farmer's Market doesn't start until next Saturday, but even still, she had a good time.

I did take her and mom to the new Walmart Supercentre. Grandma's first comment was "Holy Sh@t", which may have just been a copy of what mom said. When we got in there she asked me all kinds of questions like "How many people work here?", "Can you imagine what it costs to heat the place?", and of course, "If you got lost out here at night you could get stabbed with a knife."

She also mentioned that when she sees a big store like this she thinks of her mom who didn't have nice things. Growing up in Fort a la Corne on a widower's pension she most certainly did not, which actually makes me appreciate all I have.

As we drove home her comment was, "I'm glad Ange knows where she is driving because I'm shitting nails." I think she meant razor blades, but you get the idea.

But, I think my favorite remark of the weekend was when she was telling me how she is thankful for a warm house, lots of good food, and good kids. But sometimes she crosses off the kids.

Other things she enjoyed immensely: sleeping like a pig, spending her money while she is above ground, the casserole (which was really chili con carne), Cheetos, having Abby and Zeke jump up next to her, having mom grease her up so she's ready for the frying pan (put lotion on her arms and legs), and shopping at London Drugs.

Note to Jennifer: you will be in charge of bringing home head cheese from the next Farmer's Market. You've been warned.

Grant may have felt invaded. We didn't listen to his sign.

Jen's Research Experiment

I'm a University student, so it's imperative that I learn scholarly things. Today I conducted a research experiment and learned that with the addition of Smirnoff Ice, my typing skills seem to be impaired, but its an inverse relationship to my singing skills because they keep getting better!!

Sometimes I can be rude...

So I would like to apologize. Specifically to Brayden's friend, the one who asked Erika to dance and left Brayden and I to make awkward small talk.

First, I will apologize for not knowing your name. But your striped sweater was very nice.

Secondly, I will apologize for making you show your id to verify your age. But you did lie. You just turned 21 on Jan 1. That's not close to 22 yet.

Thirdly, I would like to apologize for my remarks after you asked my super hot friend Erika for her number and she gave it to you. I am sorry for asking her while in front of you "Are you seriously giving him your number?" and then by following it up with "Your REAL number?"

Lastly, I'm sorry for thinking this is so hilarious. I have periodically laughed about it for days. But I do appreciate that your 21 year old self will hit on 25 and 26 year olds.

Walmart Supercenter is not super

Before Jennifer gets all greedy and does all the blogging, accusing me of not having any adventures, I would like to tell a little story about the new Walmart Supercenter.

(I don't have a picture. Jennifer does. WTF? I know, but maybe she can add it.)

This Supercenter just opened on Feb. 10th. Even the mayor was there. It's the first store in the new development out by my house. This is MY Walmart, so I am feeling a little protective from all the nosy shoppers who normally go to the east or north store, but now feel the need to get all up in my face at MY Walmart.

Anyway, this store is ginormous, and has groceries (like ground beef and bananas) and all the other items you've come to expect from Walmart.

The difference at Supercenter Walmart? They don't actually have any inventory. I know what you're thinking. Super Walmart should have super inventory. Maybe it's because I went on a Sunday and all the weekend shoppers have raped and pillaged every aisle. But I am telling you, there WAS NOTHING ON THE SHELVES!

I went to get Grant's deoderant first. That was the only thing I absolutely needed, because I am not sharing mine with Grant. Nothing. I mean, a few yucky old Speed Sticks that even Dad wouldn't use, and Axe in chocolate scent. (Side note for boys: girls do not want your pits to smell like Pot of Gold. Just buy us Pot of Gold.) I managed to find a promo section with some Degree on it, complete with a car odometer on the front and Grant agreed to use it. We can all be thankful for that.

Next, food aisles. Ketchup? Sure, if you want the tiny organic Heinz bottle, or maybe the super-sized Great Value brand.

Okay, dish soap. I am not fussy - Palmolive, Dawn, Sunlight - whatever. I managed to find three bottles left. WAY the hell at the back. Not a place where 5'2 (okay 1 and a half) shoppers can reach.

Then I hit the craft section to refuel for my scrapbooking sessions. They have no glue sticks and no more Cricut cutting mat refills. Except for the 12 inch ones which nobody uses because the machines are $600.

So, needless to say, I was lucky to even survive the crowds, and have no goods to show for it. And y'know how the cashiers usually say "Did you find everything today?" - I was totally ready to say "NO" - and, she didn't even ask. She may not have been awake, actually. Or, maybe her dreads were cutting off the blood supply to her brain.

I stopped for a Tim's double double on my way out. (Yes, there is a Timmy's in the store.) That has really helped to ease the pain. But let's hope next weekend when I take Mom and Grandma here that they ship some more supplies in!

Jen's First Kitchen Fire

Today I was making one of Ange's great recipes that she gets from Kraft Canada. In one pan I was cooking the chicken and in a pot on the other burner, I was boiling water. Since I believe in multi-tasking, I was also on facebook and youtube.

All of a sudden I could smell burning. Bad burning. I looked my chicken, swirled it around, it was fine. I look to the other burner and there are flames! Actual 6 inch flames coming from underneath my pot of water.

So what do I do? I know you're wondering! While remaing calm, I try and blow it out. It got bigger. I said to my dad who was on the couch in the other room, "Uhhhh Dad, Help! Help! It's a fire." He thought I was joking. I said "No really, the stove is on fire, should I pour the water on it?" (Please note I know not to throw water on grease fires thanks to volunteering at the babysitters course in 2008). He shot that idea down. So I did what I do: I took a picture, to remember my first kitchen fire by. And maybe to scrapbook, blog or put on facebook.

The fire burnt itself out. Dad didn't have to get off the couch and I survived.

Men Vs Women in the Headlines!

Not that its really hard to argue women are smarter, I have come up with irrefutable proof as found in the headlines! I looked at over a year of 2009's random headlines, here were the most disturbing:

MEN

1. Man had to be rushed to ER after trying to circumsize himself with nail clippers
2. Racoon bites off penis of pervert (man) as he was trying to rape it
3. Man cuts off penis in name of love
4. Man almost loses penis while humping steel bench
5. Man's penis bitten off in car accident by women (It was his secretary, so this goes in the Boss is a loser category. Also with this news story was a photo of what "two people having an affair might look like")

WOMEN:

1. Women freed after days trapped in recycling bin (In her defense, she was 74 and knocked over by her dog)

So, I analyzed these headlines, can you find a common similiarity of men's stupidity?

It's currently -9 and I'm okay with that.

I never thought I'd be happy to be in the cold instead of say... Florida. But I am.

I'm glad I'm not in Tampa Bay. There's a feces throwing monkey on the loose.

I'm dead serious. Not joking or lying. There is truly a feces throwing monkey on the loose.

For Alicia:

I took Alicia to Arborfeild once. I didn't take her home. I think I should apologize, but I'm sure she made the best of it.

She asked me to write her a blog today since I was texting while being slightly underwork at the office today.

This blog isn't the best (since I'm being forced and the creative juices are frozen), so one day when I'm famous, I'll give her a fake credit at the end of my tv show for being in my entourage and a shout out in the liner notes of my sure to be smash-hit multi-platnium CD.

Actually... she confessed she has a video camera and her life is like an episode of The Office. Maybe she can tape our reality show!

Cha-Ching

I uplifted my grandma's heart today, what did you do?

I told her about receiving a scholarship from the City of Melfort awarded to me by Cumberland College. She's very proud. It sounded like she was tearing up.

So, while I'm being all mushy and feeling-sy, I have to say I know my Grandma and Grandpa Hill would be proud too.

They think it's hard to win a scholarship though. My little secret, just being me. I wrote a write up about being a banker and wanting to go to school this time and being "passionate" about it and being financially responsible, being a Nipawin Kinette and world wide do-gooder. Then I threw in my transcripts from the exams I write for the classes I don't go to. I'm thinking maybe they didn't have the highest standards! Haha.

Please note: this is all in jest, please don't take away the money!