Jen Can't Keep Her Pants On!

As far as sisters go, especially considering our seven year age gap, Angela and I are as close as sisters can be. I have often said Ange is the only person on the face of the earth I don't fight with. Maybe it was because we got the fighting out of our systems early! So, I visit Angela in the city quite often.

This past July I quit my job (since I didn't need it anymore, I was going back to school). The first week I had off, I immediately headed to Regina so Angela and I could spend some time together. Grant is a great husband for Ange because he lets us mostly do whatever we want, and stays our of hair. So, of course, coming from a small town I was in desperate need of shopping. I

I believe it was a Monday when we went into Reitmans. It's one of Ange's favorite stores, and I don't mind it either. Well, I used to not mind it. Shopping with Ange is an acquired taste. Not only is Ange is the Queen of Returns, she'll find something she likes and then we have to travel to 3 other stores to find it in the right size or color. So, I had tried on a few items and was out of the dressing room with no luck, only to find Ange still looking and with an arm load.

While she was trying on clothes, I was becoming impatient and my feet were getting sore, so I sat down on this padded blue velvet stool in the dressing room next to her. A moment later, I could feel something, I wasn't sure if it was cold or wet, or what was going on. I stood up, and looked behind myself in the mirror only to see a big wet spot on the upper thigh of my pant leg. Being brave, I touched it, them smelled my fingers. It was pee.

I had sat in pee.

I tell Ange, who tells me to go into the bathroom and wash my hands, which I did. She was only half done trying on her clothes, so I took the keys and headed back to Fannie (Angela's car's nickname). I had my pants off before I had even opened the door. So I sat in Ange's car and waited for her to finish shopping. It seemed like an eternity for her to get there, but when she did, we left for home.

On the way, she thought she better phone Grant to make sure he didn't have any friends over and to make sure the coast was clear. We get back to Angela's, and I feel like I should mention her house is directly across the street from a church. I'm in the car with no pants on and waiting to make sure no one is outside so I can make a run for the door. Once inside, I showered, and washed my pants. Before you know it, we were good to go again.

Little did we know, this wouldn't be the only time I ended up pantless in Ange's car that week.

Every year Angela and I attend the Craven Country Jamboree. We had skipped out of Thursday that year since my best friend Krista was going to be showing up the next day, we were going to wait for her. And the Kick off Act, was one that Angela despises. It was not good weather, it was rainy. I should explain Craven is also in a valley that doesn't absorb the rain very well and the mud turns into chocolate milk shake mud thats ankle deep.

Friday, we got out there, and I had left my rubber boots in the tent we had set up a few days earlier. So I was completely angry and shocked, when I went to the tent to get them, and they had been stolen. Of course, someone else needed rubber boots in the nightmare mud! So, only having a pair of white flip flops which would by the end of the day turn brown and when they flipped and flopped threw mud up my backside, Angela, Krista and I went to see the show. Pam Tillis and Sara Evans were both there that night and incredible.

After the shows, we walked back to the car, in the nightmare mud, which is now slippery than ever and there is cars and trucks driving down the muddy roads we needed to walk on. We were a fair ways from the gate, so when we got to the porta potties (one of the landmarks), I knew we were only a few hundred feet away. I could see Fannie, and as Krista put it best, "If hell is cold, we were in it". There was a car on my left side and the gross porta potties on my left, and as I rounded the corner on the homestretch to the car, I wiped out.

I fell into the nightmare mud, I was down on my hands and knees in the mud as thousands of people walked by.

Needless to say, there was no way I'd be able to get into Grant's pristine, detailed, well maintained car with mud all over me. We used the water we had left from our water bottle to clean bits of me off, then used our $0.75 ponchos to wrap up the muddy footwear and my pants. So, I'm standing in our campsite at Craven, pantless, waiting for an arrangement of rags to cover the seat so I could have a ride back to Regina. It was nice to get to Regina, while Ange went into the house to warn Grant about the mud and my partial nudity, Krista took me out back so she could use the garden hose to clean me off.

So it appears, I just can't seem to keep my pants on!!

~ Jennifer