Bad Movies

I hate bad movies.

Not only did I waste $6 renting it, I had to get my lazy butt off the couch, into a cold car, and then go into a public store filled with people whom I have to share "the hood" with.

I then had to wait in line, listen to some un-cute and un-funny guy tell me about the "powerplay" option with renting before I could pay way to much money just to drive back and walk up 3 flights of stairs.

I started watching "Lakeview Terrace" thinking "Ok, something is going to happen", "Alright something better is going to happen", "Hey, that's Karev from Grey's Anatomy and other than Samuel Jackson there's no one I recognize", "I'm an hour in, this sucks, should I shut it off, but what if something happens and it turns out good"...

Let me save you the two hours of my life, I'll never get back. Nothing good happens. It's stupid. And I have low standards on movies. I honestly don't even know what genre to classify that so called movie.

Okay the only good part was how the main character Abel is portrayed. He's an ass hole, but on the other hand he's a minority trying make the world a better place as a cop and a single father. So you kinda want to sympathize with him and for him to be the hero, but on the other hand you hate him because he's so weird, mean and condescending.

Anyway, I'm mad that now this stupid movie is taking up more of my precious time and thought processes.

Ange's Funeral

Haha! I love you Angela. I probably don't say that enough. I just figured it's implied because I constantly harass you and make you hang out with me.

I enjoyed your last blog post. I like that you don't call me immediately after you write a blog post and tell me to read it, like I do... It's a surprise when I check the blog.

Anyway, I'm glad it's not your real funeral. So many people these past few years have lost their sisters and I know I would be lost without you.

Ok, that's enough of my sappy crap.

Aren't you glad I didn't call you at midnight to tell you. That's another sign that "I care".

I have been to my funeral and I am not dead

Last night while talking to a colleague and friend of mine about our recent layoffs, she said, "Do you feel like you are at your funeral but you aren't dead?"

The answer is yes!

The weird thing about having your job cut as a "budget surprise" with no notice, no warning, no nuttin', is that your co-workers and friends come out of the woodwork saying all the wonderful things about you that they have always thought but never said.

Let me tell you - it has been good to hear. I got emails, FB messages, calls, free lunches - the works. Everyone telling me that essentially I rock. Who can argue with that logic? I imagine it is all the things people would say about me at my funeral ... "she was always smiling, she is so enthusiastic, and driven, and talented .... blah, blah, blah ... remember when she brought us cupcakes?" Y'know, those kinda sentiments.

Anyway, several job prospects are on my horizon, and that friends, is verification that while I may have been to my funeral, I certainly am not dead.

Twitter

I have no flippin' clue what this.

I don't even want to google it.

But Ange twitters. And I'm sure if I start I won't be able to stop.

So I'm not going to twitter.

And on another unrelated note, I'm also never going to own a minivan. NEVER.

Wanted: Someone who will pay me to chase boy bands. Will take any pay scale.

I am only partly kidding when I write that subject line.

My position at my job was "abolished" last week.
Yup. I lost my job. Seems harsh written in black and white doesn't it?

I am in shock. I have cried. I haven't slept. I have been sad, mad and glad all at once. I am not sure which is worse - losing your job or staying at an office where most people just did lose their job. Both sides are sucky.

Lots of changes come in life, I guess I have learned that much. And, I try to see the windows opening, not the doors closing.

Thanks to the MANY dear friends, co-workers and family who have supported me. You are what truly matters in life, this I know is true.

So, any takers on the boy band job? I am really good at it!

RIP Jen's Favorite Jeans

I don't drink very much anymore. Alcohol that is. I joined Weight Watchers and it's just too many points. Instead I drink anywhere from 3 to 4.5 L of water a day.

Saturday night I headed to the small town of Biggar, SK for a dance. I planned on having a few drinks... but not 8.

I get great ideas when I've been drinking. Well, my great idea in Biggar destroyed my favorite pair of jeans. But it serves me right for being a show-off.

I'm not graceful. I'm not flexible. I'm not stable ever. So since I've been working out, it seemed like a good idea to show off some moves... well it turns out...

I'M NOT A GYMNAST AND I CAN NOT DO THE SPLITS.

Although, I can split my pants. Luckily for me I have audience disease and no one was actually watching. "Audience disease" is where I think I have an audience and everyone in the building is admiring my skilled dance moves and hot face & body. In reality even the people I showed up with have disappeared and are now pretending they don't me, and that they certainly did not bring me.

Needless to say, I'm not going to drink again for a while. Not until I buy new pants.

Jen's Top 10

I've been copying my big sister since I was born, I'm definitely not going to stop now. Mine are in no specific order. And I think they may be surprising...

1. Buying Her Roses - Reba. I love Reba. I wanted to be Reba. I almost died trying to get to her concert. If I was a lesbian, I would have wanted to be her lover. I was an 8 year old kid with a serious obsession, I had every tape... magazine, I had everything.

2. Just to See You Smile - Tim Mcgraw. I love the instrumentation on it. It's happy and sad at the same time. And FYI, I'd never leave Tim McGraw.

3. Last Name - Carrie Underwood. I've got served a little bit too much poision, met a guy on the dance, and it got a little crazy. It's like my life. And his first name was... Trent... I think. Haha!

4. Gives You Hell - All American Rejects. I've been listening to this for a month and I'm still loving it. And It's just like yeah, I'm happy, you're still stuck in a shitty life. And so if I ran into Simon when he sees my face, I hope it gives him hell and when some girl treats him nice, she's a fool and it's just as well. Truth be told I miss you, truth be told I'M LYING! Ha

5. Permanent Marker - Taylor Swift. I love the attitude. I'm like that. So if you want
my man you better back the F#$% up. I love almost every Taylor Swift song. There is no studio version of this song, that makes me sad.

6. Tonight - Sara Evans. There was a line in this song that just rang true with me during the breakdown of my engagement. "I've held it all together, as long as I can... I don't want to go home tonight". I sang this song once at a karaoke bar. I rocked it. Notes I didn't think I ould hit and all.

7. The Joker - Steve Miller Band. It's the "Glen" in me. I enjoy almost everything from the Steve Miller Band. He's a genuis and has written a million great songs. Plus, I want to marry a space cowboy.

8.Miranda Lambert - Bring Me Down & Love Your Memory. One of my favorite artists and my favorite hairdancer. If I was famous, I'd be her.

9. She Ain't Missin' Missin' Me - Jason McCoy. This song has a raw feeling to it. I like that. I feel like when I sing it, I'm a badass. I rock out to in the car in the most embarassing way too.

10. Bop - Dan Seals. This probably deserves a post of its own, but It's been my favorite since I was 1 and it was originally released. It's all I would listen to, much to the dismay of my parents and sister.


Runners Up - Alison Krauss - Sleep On, Little Big Town - Live with the Lonesome, Julie Roberts - Wake Up Older, Rascal Flatts -Better Now

This was so hard... There are so many songs I love. This took an hour, but I think it's alright... Until I think of someone else I like...

Top Ten Tunes

Inspired by a NKOTB blog that I follow, (like that surprises you) ... I want to create my own top 10 songs that I love. If you don't know them, I suggest YouTube to check it out. Somewhat in order are as follows:

1. Fancy by Reba - any country song that tells a story is my favorite. From trash to class. Kinda tells my life story - hah!
2. And So It Goes by Billy Joel - this song made me love the piano man--the actual Piano Man, Billy Joel, plus two other guys I developed crushes on. (They shall remain nameless.) I learned it in high school swing choir.
3. November Rain by Guns 'n Roses - the classic eight minute rock song. I loved the wedding dress in the video worn by Stephanie Seymour. Jamie Hykawy and I watched this video, and all others, endlessly.
4. 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton - like I could have a top ten without Ms. Parton. This was the first song of hers that I ever heard. Grandma and Grandpa Hill had the record, and the centerfold was Dolly in a red sweater with a neon blue background.
5. Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith - I always thought Steven Tyler was sexy. From a distance kinda-way.
6. A Picture of Me Without You by Lorrie Morgan - the song that started my career at the Melfort Fair Free Stage. And Grandma Nelson likes when us girls sing it and Corey plays guitar.
7. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison - this song just makes me happy. I don't even have brown eyes, but it doesn't matter.
8. Tonight by New Kids on the Block - okay, most NKOTB songs are too bubble-gummy to actually be good, but this one is. Always was my favorite because Jordan plays piano. (See my piano crushes on number 2. Better add Jordan to the list too.)
9. Ebony & Ivory by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney - Stevie is incredible. McCartney a genius. Songwriters are the poets of our time. Plus, the MiniPops did a cover of this song on one of their albums. As a six-year-old, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I loved it.
10. Broken Wing by Martina McBride - if Martina and Celine Dion were in a sing-off, Martina would kick Celine's ass. Listen to this song and tell me I'm wrong.
11. Bonus song - Sideways by Dierks Bentley. This doesn't deserve to be on the list, as it's just my favorite right now. If I still like it in 15 years, I will keep it on the list.

Other contenders for the list include Dance Little Jean by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and My Girl by the Temptations. The first reminds me of my dad, the second of my mom. I'm a sap, what can I say. Happy listening.

Families are neat. And normal-sized.

Yes, as Jen said, celebrities seem much smaller in real life. However, families are much more normal in size. Of course, no family is really normal. Just looking at my own tonight has made me realize this.

Take mine for example. My grandparents pretty much raised me, along with my parents, til I was five and they got married. Then my crazy siblings came along. I thought it was normal to be 7 and 11 years older than your sister and brother. I am just as close in age to most of my aunts. That's all fine and good until I got married. Now you add in-laws, whom I love dearly. Through that extended family, I got a father-in-law, brother-in-law, step-mom-in-law, and all her family too. Shout out to Jaime - who I learned is a faithful blog reader too! Yay! We went to high school together, and now I get to call her a step-sister-in-law. That's neat! And while I am at it, I think it's worth noting that most of mine & Grant's friends are people we've known for 15, 20 years. They might as well be "family" too.

So, when you get all that family, tossed in with a chance meeting with Jordan Knight and Paul Brandt, you can call yourself blessed. I'm blessed.

Famous People

I have been lucky enough to meet a fair number of celebrities in my life.

In the moment I freak out on the inside but now when I think back to it however, for some reason, I seem disappointed.

It's like I expect them to be giant sized and cartoon looking.

They are usually tiny and regular looking. As if they really were just a normal human...

Jennifer "Stalin" ???

I like rules. I like policy. I like detailed numbered procedures. Structure is great. Organization is wonderful. There should be nothing wrong with that. But according to my brother Corey, I'm Stalin. I'd like to think that's better than Hitler, right?

Corey is staying in the city with Dad and I this week. So I told him about a few rules I have. For example: taking your shoes off at the door and not walking through the place with them on and
my favorite - not using metal cutlery in the new wonderful non stick expensive pans

Then I told Corey that towels were in he closet and he can't use the one that says "Jennifer". Do you even need to guess which towel was in a wet mess on the floor this morning?

I'm getting irritated cleaning up after Dad, so adding Corey in has increased my stress load. He did pick his socks up after I asked him though. Dad told him If he cleaned up after himself and did what I asked, I wouldn't nag. Yeah... like Dad should talk... Those guys are two of a kind.

Last night, I gave Corey triscuits and dip. So what does the kid do?? He dumps the box of triscuits onto the coffee table!!!!! Geez. We have plates. If you asked, I would have brought you one. And triscuits make such a mess with all the little crumbs... I felt like Mom because when he was done eating I put the crackers and dip away, then cleaned up his mess.

Anyways, I also instructed Corey not to write on my white erase board, he can't use the square cups, only the round ones and that he couldn't eat anything without asking in case it might be for a meal. Okay, so that maybe a little crazy, however, I did give him ideas for snacking and things he could eat without asking. It's just I don't want to go to the grocery store to buy more because he's ate it. It's cold and I'm poor.

I probably shouldn't worry anyway, it's mostly vegetables. I doubt he eats those. I think he had to leave the house today because I don't have highly processed foods in the house or sugary juices or soda drinks. He's going to go through major pizza pop withdrawal, I can see that now.

Other than Corey breaking my rules and cleaning up after him, I have to say, I've enjoyed hanging out. We played Wii, watched tv and had a blast just laughing. And as much as Dad is enjoying us, I think it's a little weird for him to have us both here... and asking for money! Haha.

Celebrity Look A Likes

Okay, so it's past 2:30am. I'm getting ready to head to TCU place for Telemiracle. I'm a Nipawin Kinette and have volunteered to answer phones! So I'm trying to keep myself awake right now.

I stumbled across TMZ's Celeb Look a Likes. It's hilarious. The best thing since the "Pearl" Videos with Will Ferrell. So this is what I've learned:

• Almost 20% of girls think they look like Angelina Jolie. NONE actually do.
• If you're bald you must look like Bruce Willis
• You don't have to be African to think you look like an African celebrity, but it would probably help
• Being shirtless doesn't equal Matt McConaughey
• Skanks look like Brooke Hogan or Kim Kardashian, who woulda guessed??
• Haha! Resembling octo-mom. You should definitely not be proud of that. And she's not even a celebrity
• Being Blonde doesn't make you Carrie Underwood, having curly hair doesn't change you face and make you look like Taylor Swift, just like being Spanish doesn't make you look ANYTHING like Eva Longoria
• More Angelina wannabes... you have to be kidding me...
• Bodybuilder's don't generally look like PlayBoy bunnies. Nice Try.
• Put Amy Winehouse's hair on anyone and it looks like Amy Winehouse, that's not a look a like contest, its more like a halloween costume
• Breast Implants don't change your face. So yeah, okay your boobs could like Victoria Beckham's but nothing else does.
• You had to have looked at this photo before you sent it in. Look at it and say if I saw this person on the street, would I think it was "celeb's name"? NO!

I cover up the name and try to guess the celeb by the look-a-likes face, I'm about 25/212.
That was fun. And it kept me awake.

Editing only has one 't'

Okay, I couldn't resist pointing out that Jen spelled editing with two 't's instead of one. See? She really does need a proofreader! Not that I mind. But I kinda have my own school work to do.

Until April 9th.

That is the day I write my last final exam. That is a day I have been looking forward to since 2005. Possibly longer if you consider the first university class I ever took was in 1999.

As of June 11, 2009, not only will I add another year to my age, but I will add a Bachelor of Professional Arts degree too.

Maybe then I can go back to being Jen's proofreader.

Jennifer's Want Ad

WANTED: Smart Friend.

• Must be able to read and write.
• Excellent proofreading and editting skills are necessary.
• Current friends need not apply.

Please contact Jennifer at
angela doesn't want to proofread anymore @ jen needs a proofreader . com